"That’s another reason I love New York. Just like that, it can go from bad to cute." -Carrie Bradshaw
New York City is a lot like a rollercoaster (cliche, forgive me). I feel like I’ve been riding a rollercoaster that, right when I think it’s going to be steady and predictable, the track turns into a loop or sends me plummeting down a mountain. As with life.
But don’t get me wrong—I’m here for it (maybe "loathing" is too strong of a word). After reading the danger signs and hearing the cautionary tales, I bought my ride ticket, and I’m staying on it until it ends mid-August (and I’ll probably come back for round two at some point).
That’s the only way I’ve been able to describe living here. One minute, you can feel on top of the world, and the next you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom. Rinse and repeat (multiple times a day). They call it the city that never sleeps, yet I’ve slept here better than anywhere else, probably because I’m so exhausted when my head hits the pillow.
Here, I feel like I’m doing something. I’m actually working towards my dreams. I’m walking amidst others who have made it, who have survived the cutthroat streets and long hours, and I walk beside others, no matter their age, who are working to make it. It’s a combination of feeding off the energy of the pulsing city streets and the work I’m doing at my internship.
Here, I wake up excited about life.
In the past four weeks, I have done so many things that I can’t believe actually happened. I can already feel them slipping by like flashes of light because life moves so fast in the city. I want to hold these memories so close to my heart so that I will never forget how I felt.
So far, I’ve seen my first three Broadway shows as a New Yorker, gone to several off-Broadway productions, made a ritual of going to the dog cafe, and attended an awards show. I’ve been to a proper New York party, seen a dance show along the Hudson River, and gotten up at 4 am to see the Jonas Brothers on the Today Show. These events, along with many other moments that I will keep close, to keep me going when things are tough.
There are moments that wear me down in this city. I get homesick for familiarity and a slower pace. New York is so much louder than the south. Sirens sing me to sleep at night, and people shouting at each other on the sidewalk barely phase me now. This, and many other things, honestly have had me questioning if I’m strong enough to be here for more than a summer.
But once I think that, almost like clockwork, something will switch my mindset:
A couple blocks away from where I experienced the most humiliating catcalling encounter of my life (more on that later), I met two dogs that a woman had adopted from a Korean K9 Rescue. ‘There are good people here,’ I thought, with a soft smile on my face.
Finding a church community here has been imperative. With all the chaotic things happening around me, Sunday mornings have been my safe space where I can just focus on one thing, and feel connected with those around me. A few sweet friends and I have been attending worship every week and meeting so many kind and welcoming people -- I am so thankful for that. I pray that everyone will always be able to have a safe space to practice their faith.
Fun fact: if you take a dog on the subway, it needs to fit in a bag. What do people do with their big dogs? This
A busker on the subway opened his song with: “Is this the Uptown R train? Because it’s about to become the Uptown Fun train!!!”
I don’t think I’ve experienced as many emotions and as much life in such a short amount of time before. I wrote in my journal at the beginning of this journey that I can’t wait to see the growth that happens this summer. This still rings true. I can feel it-- all the high highs, and all of the low lows are shaping my journey into something special. I want to feel every singular ray of light and every single emotion with all of my being.
